adoption story: mike and rita

“For as long as we have been together we have had adoption on our hearts. After having two kids biologically, we eventually decided to pursue what God had put on our hearts. We went to a local agency and did our home study. For almost 3 years we were a waiting family with them and we were only seeing a couple situations per year. I started to look at consultants and told Mike to say some prayers about being open to the idea. We both prayed that God would make it clear to us. 

We looked at a few and did not feel like it would be a good fit and then I stumbled upon The Joyful Adoption. Hours after filling out an inquiry form, Kristen gave me a call. I knew right away that she was an incredibly perfect fit to help our family, Even in our first conversation she made me feel like I was talking to a dear friend.

When Mike came home from work I asked him what he was thinking after praying about it and he said that he was still praying that God would make it clear. He had brought in the mail with him and opened a letter with a check in it because we had been paying too much into escrow. The check was for the same amount for the consultant fee. We laughed because God couldn't have made it any clearer and even sent us the check to begin. We signed the next day.

Tears fill my eyes as I type this because working with Kristen is the reason that I am typing this with one hand with my beautiful two month old daughter in my other. Through all the ups and downs that adoption undoubtedly brings, she was there for us. We have called her through happy and sad tears and through some of the most difficult and beautiful moments of our lives. Kristen was a rock for us. She gave us thoughtful advice and gave us incredible hope.

The Joyful Adoption introduced us to the most wonderful adoption professionals in the agencies that they work with. They held our hand when we needed it and prayed us through this difficult but beautiful journey that is adoption. 

Our advice to hopeful adoptive families is to never give up hope.

As Kristen would remind us after a difficult no….”Remember, you will bring home a baby. This is just not the one God has planned for you.”

We felt that especially when the mother we were matched with for a few months decided to parent. Without that mother though, we would not have met our daughter.

We have such a beautiful relationship with our daughter's birth mother and we still are filled with gratitude to the mother who we first matched with.

You will never regret loving and praying for each mother whose story you are privileged to hear about. There are many difficult moments in most of our adoption journeys, but when you hold your child, I promise you will know for certain that every single second was worth it. 

We are forever grateful to Kristen and The Joyful Adoption for helping our family receive the greatest gift we will ever receive in our daughter. 

Meet our Birth Family Advocate, Sabrina!

We are thrilled to represent the complete Adoption Triad! Sabrina recently joined The Joyful Adoption to represent the Birthparent Perspective in adoption.

Whenever a new adoptive family comes onboard, they will have the opportunity to speak with her over the phone to hear her story and ask questions and have an open dialogue. Although now two adoption stories are the same, our hope is that by speaking with Sabrina, families will gain additional compassion for the Birth Families involved in Adoption.

Here’s a bit from Sabrina, who is also a dear friend of over 30 years!

My husband and I live in the Atlanta suburbs and have our hands full raising our two youngest children, 13 and 8 years of age. 

I am also a birth mom to an amazing son, now currently in reunion.  

A little about my story:  I grew up in Marietta and attended church as a teen and young adult. Unfortunately, my teen life wasn’t always a faithful walk, and I discovered that I was pregnant at the age of 18. Immediately I knew that I was not going to choose to terminate the pregnancy, and I thank God every day for giving me the wisdom to make that decision. As I began to mentally process the fact that I was only 18 and with child, I became deeply convicted that I wanted this baby to have what I was unable to offer at that point in my life: a stable, financially secure household with a mother and a father. Thus began my journey with adoption.

Choosing to give my son to another couple to raise was one of the most glorious and difficult decisions that I have ever made. Every fiber of my being screamed for me to never let go of my beautiful child, but I knew that I was a vessel for him to be delivered to an amazing couple who was unable to have children of their own. 

Our adoption story entailed shared letters and photos throughout the years, but not visits. I long awaited the day to see him again, hold him in my arms (albeit a hug versus holding a little child), and just breathe him in. In May of 2015 God answered that prayer and I met him at his high school graduation ceremony, and I couldn’t be prouder of the young man that he has become!

My experience has led me down a path to fully support open adoptions when at all possible. I am thankful for the sweet couple that God brought in my life to raise my son and love that they have become family. 

I believe that all parties can bring a positive value to the adopted child and involving the birth mother in the child’s life can help them embrace and understand that they were not abandoned or unwanted. I look forward to sharing my story and assisting you with your journey!

Why adopt with the help of an adoption consultant?

So, you have read and prayed about adoption, and are ready to take the plunge! But how do you know where to get started? How do you know the "good guys" from the "bad?" How do you discern the best use of your time, resources and emotions? How do you choose a group who will highly value and honor all parties involved in adoption?

These are the questions that led me to an adoption consultant. I was overwhelmed with all the options, and wanted to work with someone I trusted, and who would guide me in the right direction.

Adoption is a life-changing decision for everyone in your family and something to not enter into lightly as you want to be wise with your time and money and emotions. Here are a few factors which set our team apart:

1. Compassionate support. We have been in your shoes. At Joyful Adoptions, we are a small team of adoption experts who provide individual care and support and guidance to hopeful adoptive parents here in the United States. Our entire team has personal experience with adoption, either as adoptive parents, adoptees, or birth families. As consultant Stacy says, "I think ultimately a consultant is YOUR advocate. Someone you can count on to support and encourage you and offer advice and ground you when things seem to be going haywire. Adoption can be hard and full of anxiety with all the unknowns and issues that may arise along the way. Having someone there that can walk you through it, who also intimately understands all the fears that go with it, can be extremely comforting for families."

2. Personalized support. When a family invites us to join their adoption journey, they have 24/7 access to a knowledgeable industry adoption(?) professional to answer all of their questions. We help them get started and provide education on current adoption topics, so that they know what to expect. Your dedicated adoption consultant will walk you through the process step by step, from start to finish. We are committed to providing personalized guidance. We only work with a certain amount of families at a time, so that you don't get lost in the crowd. We recognize that there are no two families who are alike and there strive to provide a personalized approach.

3. Multi-agency approach. Although a "fast adoption" should not be your only reason for working with a consultant, we have an amazing multi-agency approach. Our families are able to be as proactive as possible, which often results in a shorter wait time. All of our families receive cases directly from us, as well as the opportunity to pre-register with ethical agencies that provide strong expectant mother/family support.

4. Funding and grant guidance. At Joyful Adoptions, we also recognize the sometimes overwhelming expense involved in completing an adoption. We have brought a wonderful Funding Specialist to join our staff, to help families map out specific grants to help underwrite the overall cost. She is highly skilled at helping families craft their grant writing, and has helped families offset close to $40,000 in agency fees in the last four months alone.

5. Help in sharing your story with expectant women/families considering adoption. Our gifted In House Professional Profile Designer Kristina is also a professional photographer, and knows how to weave a family's story together, to share their authentic hearts for everyone involved. The end result is a beautifully crafted, "light and airy," magazine style book, in both electronic and physical format.

6. Post-placement support. Through our virtual support group, past and current families can connect and support each other as parents, and cheer on new hopeful families. We love staying in touch, even years later!

Next up on the blog -- How to choose an adoption consultant!

So you are considering adoption….

"I'm feel called to adoption... now what?"

Adoption can be a beautiful way to add to your family. But first, before you jump in, invest the time to breathe, read and research!

We are often asked, "what are the first steps you recommend that a family take?" Overall, Prayer, Research, Support and Education are key!

1. Pray! Seek the Lord and pour your heart out to Him. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Why are you feeling led to adoption? Ask for wisdom as you proceed. James 1:5; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; 1 John 5:14-15 are great Scripture references

2. Gather community! Do you have friends who have adopted? Ask for their wisdom and advice and lessons learned along the way. There are needs for every type of adoption -- domestic, international and foster care. Gather wisdom from friends who have gone before you. Seek out local support groups from your church or other local groups, and ask questions. You will learn so much from them!

3. Seek more information. Don't commit to the first group you come across. Request their information packets. Do your due diligence and research them. Ask for phone calls or video conferences. See where your faith and values align. Ask about finances and risks. Ask about the training that they recommend you complete. Then, do the reading, listen to the podcasts; there are many great podcasts about the adoption process, views from birth parents and adult adoptees. Invest the time to understand everyone involved in adoption -- birth family, the adopted child as well as the adoptive family.

4. Choose a trusted adoption professional. It’s so important to get current reviews and input from families who have adopted recently. Familiarize yourself with your state laws as well. Take the time to interview possible adoption professionals.

5. Jump in! Once you have identified the adoption professional you'd like to work with in your family building efforts, it's important to keep up with your To Do list. Your consultant will help you pace yourself and not get too overwhelmed.

6. Get vulnerable (again!). Once you go "live" with your agency or consultant, ask for prayers and tangible help as you jump into the process. Ask for prayers for your discernment, ask for prayers for the biological family of the child you hope to adopt. Ask for prayers for your future child. Share the tangible needs for your adoption to be completed.

7. Equip your group. The adoption landscape is always changing. We recommend gifting a copy of "In on It" to the family and friends who are supporting you on your adoption journey so that they also know what to expect, and how to support you best in your adoption journey.

8 Prepare your heart for parenthood. Make sure that you are ready to emotionally and physically and spiritually dive into the lifelong journey of parenthood. Research and locate a post-adoption support group in your community and/or online.